The Beginning

Several years ago I noticed Mom was beginning to get confused when organizing big family dinners. Ours is a family of two parents and five children. Big family dinners was an everyday occurrence. As a stay-at-home mom, which was the norm back in the day, she could handle the every day ups and downs and intermittent crises. In fact, she loved planning the meal, choosing special traditional family fare and cooking. And oh, how she could set a table! We didn't have much Waterford crystal or Royal Doulton china, but the table sparkled with her personal touch of flowers from the garden, lace linens and her wedding silverware. When I think of hospitality, visions of Mom's holiday table flash across my mind. It was her personal signature. She set the bar high for us to follow. And truth be told, I have never quite been able to emulate her style. Mom’s style is a tribute to the classic days of yore.

But that started to change. It was such a imperceptible shift that everyone missed it, except me.

I have been blessed (or burdened, depending on your point of view) with the gift of keen observation and vivid memory. When I saw Mom trip up on the comings and goings of the holiday activities, I knew something wasn't quite right.

The first time was at Christmas. By this point we were all adults with families of our own. Some of us were married, some divorced and most of us with children. All in all there were 19 of us at a family dinner.

That year we decided to have a girls lunch with Mom, my sisters and sister-in-law. Unfortunately, due to all of our schedules, we couldn't make it to just one lunch. The simple solution was to have two lunches with some of us going to both and some attending only one lunch. Mom was completely confused as to what days we were going, who was going when and where we were meeting. Although it was discussed over and over, she couldn't retain the information.

I chalked it up to the holiday rush. I didn't want to go any further than that. Looking back, I am pretty sure there were whisperings in my mind that Mom's confusion went deeper than hubbub of the holidays. I just couldn't go to those dark corners where my fear resided. I didn't want to venture there, not yet anyway. I just wanted to immerse my being into the well of family love that accompanied all of our family gatherings. We were a blessed family - and still are, just in different ways.

JaneEllen