Whenever I am travelling and sitting up late at night in my hotel room, my thoughts drift back to home. First, my heart first is pulled in the direction of my girls. Oh how lucky I am. They are my jewels and I am blessed to have them in my life. They are my light.
Then I wonder how my parents are doing. I live with them to help them navigate through the daily activities that they use to traverse with ease. Now the smallest bend in the road can easily throw them off course. Between Mom’s memory loss and Dad’s failing eyesight, life has become a challenge. I worry about them.
There are days when you just have to laugh. Other times the internal scream goes off in my head, because Mom has asked me for the umpteenth time if I ate lunch. It is the light moments that keep my going, even those with fringed with sad reality.
Last week we got about ten inches of snow. Despite the weather, Mom had an appointment with her ear doctor. Her ears were blocked and she couldn’t hear without us shouting to her. She had to go that day or wait till the following week to see the doc. On our way, she asks me when my vacation was over. Huh???? I told her I wasn’t on vacation. She said, “Well you are always home”. I replied that I work from home (I have worked from since 2002) and that I work at my desk in the office. “Oh, did that start already?”. The way she said it made me chuckle. And it made my heart sink, a little. I know this is the course of this ugly disease, but at times it just smacks me in the head. Still, with time, it is funny – in a twisted humorous way.
I go home tomorrow and don’t know what I will find. The house will be there, but the TV won’t be “working” because neither one of them can figure out how to use the TV/cable combination. The dog will have peed on the living room rug, because they don’t walk the dog when he whines to go out and Mom forgets to close the kitchen gate. And who knows what else. Despite all of this, I miss them. They won’t always be there, so at the end of the day, I am lucky to still have them with me.
Maybe that is why God gave me the ability to see the twisted humor in this journey. It is my built-in defense against the insanity that could set in, if I let it.
JaneEllen
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1 comment:
It is in the humor that survival is achieved. If God didn't want us to get through the rough times, He certainly wouldn't have given you the great sense of humor that you have. I can just see your mom sitting in your car asking you when vaca was over...treasure these moments, my friend.
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