Shared History

My parents celebrated their 55th anniversary this past July. To share your life with another person for 55 years is a celebration of love. I truly believe that Mom and Dad not only have a deep abiding love for each other, but they enjoy each other’s company.

Since the demise of my own marriage I have observed many married couples, wondering how they do it. There are the rare few, who like Mom and Dad, are happy in their marriage. There are others where marriage has proven to be an endurance event, just waiting for the other to bail or die. While this latter group may have anniversaries, these are merely signs of another year’s passing.

Living with them, I get to hear snippets of conversation that I never would have heard otherwise. This is where living here is an honor and a privilege. Truths revealed during the flow of conversation, as we pass the salt and pepper around the dinner table, are tucked away in my memory box.

As we ate lunch the subject of marriage came up. Mom and Dad were talking about their wedding day. It was the usual tale, I had heard at least a dozen times before. Then Dad says, “As I knelt at the altar and throughout the whole mass, I prayed and prayed to God that I would never show Marilyn my bad temper. I just kept praying over and over.” There, mingled in with the familiarity, a new, shiny jewel slipped in to my treasure trove.

Dad had always been the “good” Catholic: going to church every Sunday, never missing a Holy Day of Obligation mass, church council member, Sunday school teacher, and a product of 16 years of Catholic education. This much I knew. But what I didn’t expect was this revelation of one of his deepest fears. He loved Mom so much that he feared he would lose her if his temper erupted, spewing volcanic ashes of anger at her.

Mom just looked over at him and smiled. I asked if she knew he had such a bad temper. She acknowledge that she knew it, but he had never directed it at her, “I knew he never would.” Through her love for Dad, trusting in the depth of his love for her, she knew he never would direct his temper at her or any of us.

Their love story will never be made into a movie. It is not a legendary tale. It is not one for the record. It will not be told over and over again for generations to come. It will never be on the NY Times best seller list. They won't be interviewed for television. Other than the readers of this blog, no one will ever know of their love story.

Yet, it is the love story every newlywed couple hopes to have as they embark on their adventure. It is a love borne out of deep respect, mutual love, faith in God and genuine affection for each other. It is a love story that continues until the day one of them parts from this realm. Even then, I am sure their spirits will never truly be separated from each other.

Peace,

JaneEllen