You Never Know About Tomorrow….

You never know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe that is one of life’s lessons that I repeatedly learn living with Mom. Some days she is better and other days she is more foggy. The past couple of days have been worrisome, to say the least.

Last Friday I heard a very loud thump-thump coming from the front hall. Rushing upstairs from the basement we found Mom sitting on the floor. She said that she had been bending over to get her purse out of the closet, felt dizzy and fell backwards. She didn’t want to move at first, reporting that she had hit her head on the steps, scraped her arm and hurt hip. I made sure she could move everything before helping her to her feet. Other than being shook up a little, she seemed fine. That was Friday.

Throughout the weekend she became dizzy and didn’t want to get out of bed. She ate, albeit less than usual, but was not nauseous. The exception was when she would try to sit up, would become dizzy and then woozy after that. Consulting Betty, we both concluded that the dizziness could be from her sinuses, labrynthitis, which she had a couple of years ago, or just from laying down so much. Whatever the reason I, called the doc on Monday for an appointment.

I was off on a business trip Monday afternoon, so Mike and Allison, along with Dad took Mom to the doc. She was sick prior to leaving for the docs. The doc was concerned that she may be dehydrated, ordered a CT scan and off to the hospital they went.

It is now Tuesday evening and she is still there. Thankfully all of the tests, including an MRI of her head, have come back negative. The Dizziness is starting to abate, but still there to some degree. Her appetite is not that great, according to Betty. Then again, hospital food isn’t exactly fine cuisine.

What now???? After ruling out blocked carotids, infections, strokes and a myriad of other causes, Diagnosis B is the only possibility. Anyone who has dealt with this type of illness knows that TIA, Transient Ischemic Attack, is the fallback diagnosis.

As I stated earlier, none of us know what tomorrow will bring. Hopefully, Mom will be discharged tomorrow. I can’t imagine why not. I will be back home in the late afternoon, so I can help her at home. I have to believe that the household routine and familiarity will invaluable healing powers.

As for if or when the next TIA happens, well only God knows. I wonder if this is part of Alzheimer’s or some new twist. I don’t know. The weird thing is that I am not freaking out about the not knowing.. Surprisingly, I have not thought of a dozen contingency plans for all the “what ifs” that may happen.

Maybe I am just too tired to think past tomorrow. Between my own girls, my work (which has ramped up my travel and extra pressure) and caring for my parents, I can only focus on the here and now.

I am hoping that my prayers to God during my long drive on Monday, gave me the peace of mind I need to face all the tomorrows that lie ahead. I prayed that the Holy Spirit be with Mom so she would not be confused in the hospital. I asked God to guide the docs, giving them wisdom and patience. And I asked Him to walk with all of us, giving each of us whatever we need. I prayed for him to help Mom, knowing that whatever His will is, He will be with us, and me, through everything.

I don’t know what will happen. What I did learn is that my convictions about the power of prayer have grown stronger. Prayer sustains me. Prayer gives me peace. Prayer gives me strength. Prayer comforts me. Prayer allows be to live in the presence. Prayer lets me question everything without fear. Through prayer, I have a deep seated knowledge that I will not be alone. For it is not prayer that does all this, it is God that sustains me, guides me, gives me peace and grants me grace while loving me.

Peace,

JaneEllen